How to begin?

Good question! One which could be answered in a myriad of ways. We tackled this difficult question at a recent More Ink gathering.

We shared some examples of terrific beginnings, but sadly, I didn’t take notes and so most of that is lost in the nooks and crannies of time. I’d recently finished reading The Outlaw Album by Daniel Woodrell, so I had several ready examples from this excellent collection of short stories. Here’s my favorite, from a story called Uncle:


A cradle won’t hold my baby. My baby is two hundred pounds in a wheelchair and hard to push uphill but silent all the time. He can’t talk since his head gto hurt, which I did to him. I broke his head with a mattocks and he hasn’t said a thing to me or nobody else since. 

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What? Holy hell! What is going on here? Well, I know how the story turns out, but I can’t tell you. That would ruin the excellent suspense and sense of wonder that the author has created.

What should a beginning do? 

  • Introduce conflict and tension
  • Start with action, not boring background information
  • Make the reader wonder
  • Introduce – the setting, character, and proper tone

It’s generally not a good idea to start with:

  • Lots of dialogue
  • A cliched hook
  • Description
  • In a dream sequence

…and don’t start too early in the story. Crank it up a bit and start further along when the action is really starting to cook. One guest did have an interesting story about starting too late in the scene and thereby not allowing the reader to properly empathize with the character. Whiiiich brings me to an important point, and something I think we already know. Rules are made to be broken and none of this guidance is absolute. Do what makes sense for your story. 

At the very least, a beginning should make the reader want to turn the page.

Chuck Wendig, my current author crush, has much to say about how to start. Read it here. Be warned that he can be profane at time; it’s one of my favorite things about his writing. That and the fact that he’s wickedly creative and cool.

We did an exercise using assorted bad beginnings culled from the world wide web of horrible writing. Given the beginnings below, we attempted to re-write them to make them more compelling:

  •  It was a dark and stormy night.
  • Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her from eking out a living at a local pet store.
  • Like an overripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor.
  • Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then penguins often do.
  • The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along the green sward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, gaping in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving the magnitude of the frog’s deception, screaming madly, “You lied!”
  • No, he never does manage to win her over but let me tell you how he didn’t.
  • Boy, that sure is a lot of giraffes, I see one giraffe, two giraffes, there’s three, and four giraffes.
  • It was a blustery fall day when Optimus Prime returned home early to find his wife boning Dracula.
  • Bullets rained down on us like– nope, that’s actually just rain. 
  • I’m a dumb shithead and even though this isn’t really the first line no one will care because I, Donald Trump, am pure garbage.

This exercise actually made me want to stab my own eyes out with a mechanical pencil.  I resisted but the fact that I sucked seems indicative of the fact that I need practice. Lots of practice. Many of the attendees had a gift for this. I can vouch for the fact that it’s much harder than it looks. Try some of the examples above and see how you do.

The raffle prize was a terrific book called The Successful Novelist by David Morrell and our own very talented Jonathan Kahn is the lucky recipient. Congrats! Jonathan is preparing for the release of a collection of very short stories called Vanity Plate Tales. You can find some of them on his FB page. I’ve been lucky enough the proof the manuscript and it’s good. Look for its release soon.

The art in this post was created by Andew Salgado, a featured artist at Ink & Alchemy. It made my morning just looking at it. If you want more, pay him a visit at his website.


If you’re interested in my Feature programs for your writing or art, here are the details.

Writer promotion in exchange for honest reviews

I am seeking honest reviews for a recently published collection of midwestern-noir short stories. In exchange for your review posted at Amazon and Goodreads, I will add you to my Featured Writers program and promote your work or site throughout my platform now and in the future. You’ll find details about the program on my website. If interested, submit the form and note that you are requesting a review copy of my manuscript and I’ll provide it by email.

Thank you!

Eulogy

I’m writing my own eulogy.

I know, I know. It seems a little macabre. I’m not dying or anything. At least not that I know of. I’m doing it for a couple of reasons. First, to help put things into perspective. Lately, my life is just bursting at the seams. It’s mostly good, mind you, so I’m not complaining, but I do need to find a way to prioritize. What’s really important?

Secondly, I’m having a bit of trouble with death. It seems that wherever I look, there it is. I’m usually a pretty stalwart kinda gal, but I gotta admit it’s getting to me. Maybe it’s my age. I’m forty-three. I know of at least five people busily dying from cancer at this very moment and it has thrown me into a tailspin. I’ve found myself just sitting the car and crying several times lately, which is completely out of character for me.

According to Wikipedia, a eulogy is a speech or writing in praise of a person, especially those recently deceased. It’s sobering to think of your life in this way. When it’s all said and done, what kind of a person were you? What were the things that you chose to spend your valuable time on?

If we knew that we only had two weeks or even two months, most of us would spend those moments with our loved ones. The choices get more complicated when the timetable is longer. We have to live our lives. The bills still have to be paid. We can’t just sit around waiting to die.

I’m the kind of person who usually jumps right in and lives each moment to its fullest, and I still plan on doing that, but I’m going to write my eulogy in hopes that it will help me sort this out and put it behind me. I’ve made several attempts, which were largely failures. Have you ever known those people who respond to tough or awkward situations with humor or sarcasm? Yep, that’s me. I’m a smart-ass. It keeps happening in the eulogy writing, too, and while hilarious (at least to me, if no one else), it doesn’t have the gravity that a eulogy seems to demand.

My current approach is to make a list of the larger concepts that  are important to me and then assess my life to determine how I’m doing incorporating those things into my daily life.

The list so far goes a little something like this:

  • Continue to strengthen important relationships.
  • Discard relationships which consistently have negative affects on my life.
  • Cultivate a life which incorporates creativity. This makes me exceedingly happy!
  • Reduce stress.
  • Increase exercise.

I’ll keep you posted, but in the meantime, does anyone out there have some input on this topic? I’d love to hear how others have dealt with this issue.

The artwork in this post is courtesy of Jeremiah Ketner. He’s wickedly talented and you can find even more fabulousness at his website, including details about his current show, Ideal World.

As always, if you’ve got creative works to share, either literary or visual art, you may submit using this form. I’d love to hear from you!

The artwork of Joshua Burbank and a social media rant

I used the title to give you a fair warning. It’s possible that I’ve had this rant fairly recently, so feel free to tune out if this sounds familiar. I did include something to make it worth your while though – the art of the incredibly talented Joshua Burbank.

Want to hawk your wares online? Trying to build a customer base to sell your book? Your art?

I want to say ahead of time – this next part is not meant to be discouraging, just realistic.

It’s not quick. It’s not instantaneous. You can’t just pay someone a one-time lump sum and expect them to build your platform. If you’re willing to pay someone large sums of money to manage your sites on a regular basis, maybe, but most of us don’t have that kind of money to invest. And in my opinion, you should be doing it yourself anyway.  How else to infuse your platform with your unique personality and branding? Building relationships online is similar to building them in real life. It requires trust. It takes time.You have to give in order to get.

Your platform is dynamic and requires regular and thoughtful attention.

I talk to people regularly who want to build a platform. Some of them even want to pay me to do it for them, but they don’t seem to understand the basic concepts which I consider to be essential for success. It seems that they want me to take care of the mechanics for them – setting up and linking all their sites and pages – and expect that something magical will happen. Customers will flock to their platform, wallets in hand, and buy their stuff.

Not.

It just doesn’t work that way.

What does it take to build a successful platform? Passion. It’s so much easier if you’re on fire for what you’re doing*. Note that being enthusiastic about something –  creative writing, let’s say –  doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll feel the same way about promoting your short stories online. The absolute best situation is one in which you have a fire in the belly for your creative endeavor, and on top of that, honestly enjoy meeting people online and cultivating new relationships. If you can look at each of those people out there as a resource (for knowledge, networking,and inspiration) first and a customer second, you’re on the way to a new paradigm which will change your online interactions in a very positive way.

I endured a conversation just yesterday in which a woman claimed to want to speak to me about building a platform, but interrupted me multiple times with specific questions and comments about how I could market her book. Her book. Her book. I think she said this phrase at least ten times in the space of that many minutes. I used the word ‘endured’ just a moment ago intentionally. This conversation was very much like I imagine it would feel to walk outside and repeatedly bash my head against the side of the garage.

To me, a platform is much more than one book or one painting. A platform is useful, compelling, and inviting. It’s an extension of you as a person. If you’re not willing to do it right, maybe you shouldn’t do it at all.

Why do so many people want to do it then? Maybe someone told them that this is the way to sell things in this technological climate. They have been told that they need social media. I happen to agree with both of these statements. My personal belief is that if you have something you’re trying to pimp, whether it’s goods or services, or even an organization, you’re squandering a valuable resource if you aren’t leveraging social media. However. And this is a humongous HOWEVER…

…setting up a plethora of sites and failing to manage them properly is only a teeny tiny bit better than doing nothing at all.

…constant posting of transparent sales-gimmicky crap is annoying and will have the complete opposite effect than what you intend. Most people are smarter than this. Admittedly, there may be a very small percentage who will stick around for this asinine and narcissistic behavior, but the cost – alienating people who could be valuable customers, contacts, or resources – is exceedingly high. It’s not worth it.

I acknowledge the fact that underneath it all, each of us is trying to put forth our own agenda, whatever that may be, but I truly believe that if you can examine your business and identify aspects of it that will benefit others, and then focus on those, the rest will follow. You don’t have to save the world. It’s not necessary to adopt all the stray kittens or feed all of the starving children, although if you figure out a way to make these things happen, drop me an email. I’m totally interested.

You just need to think about who your potential customers or followers are. What are they interested in? Why are they interested in you? What do you have in common with them? What can you do to make their lives more interesting or just plain better. Got it? Okay, now go do it.

Here’s the disconcerting part. At first, you won’t notice much happening at all. But if you are strategic and focused in your online activities, amazing things will happen, including sales.

Again, Joshua Burbank is the artist responsible for all of this eye-candy. Go pay him a visit at his website. He’s a featured artist at Ink & Alchemy and as usual, I am indebted to all of the artists who share their talent with us. I’ve also got things of the literary sort going on over at More Ink. Please join me.

*A note here. I don’t think that you are required to enjoy managing your platform to be successful, I just think it will be easier. There are lots of people out there who don’t enjoy it, but understand the value of building a platform and are very successful at it. These people take a strategic and focused approach and are aware that they need to be aware and vigilant. They manage it like a business and have appropriate expectations.